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I have always considered myself to be a person with so much patience and perseverance on people and situations… i am not someone who would easily give up on something or someone… i try to see the goodness on people and situation, even at its worst and most difficult moment… coz i believe that everything has a purpose… and something good will eventually be born out of it. 

but when can one tell as to when will be the right time to continue holding on or to finally let go?  is it courage when one keeps on holding on, knowing deep pain is ahead and everything is just bound for destruction? is that love or just a mere stupidity? 

or should you just let go just because you’re afraid that staying would mean hurting yourself in the process?  you think of letting go since you’re afraid that past hurts will recur in the present? is this sanity or just a mere cowardice?

i believe that i am never stupid or a coward… but i am a strong believer of making decisions that would be the best for me and for everyone.  not all decisions i made were easy… in fact, most of them were quite painful, and some of the remnants would still surface from time to time. 

in the most difficult moments, i would also wish i never made those decisions.. lots of "what ifs" would bombard my mind… regrets on dreams/wishes that will never be… yet, looking back to that certain past, i believe that i was not the passive person people consider me to be… i have risked much, loved much…. i have not wasted any friendship.. i returned the love given to me, the best way i could… but my heart was not well-taken cared of, expecting that i will just be around forever… well, people do wake up from every slumber… we could somehow allow our hearts to wonder.. yet, we would always wish that the person whom we give our heart and trust, would be the source of our happiness, and not of sorrow… it took me great courage and strength to make very difficult decisions… but i know that i could never turn back, every time i’d make one… one thing that i would just like to be sure of is that i am doing God’s will, however painful it may be…  at the end of the day, i would feel that i made the right move, after all… no regrets, no pain… just the feeling of freedom for finally having let go of something or someone that made me a "great prisoner" in my own world…

goodbyes will always be painful… but it is better than staying in a situation that hinders us from becoming the person God made us to be… i believe that i will still look back to such past.. it gave me a good memory after all… it made me happy at one point.. it made me meet good friends whom i will always treasure for the rest of my life, and it allowed me to have a better perspective in life… but yet, i know that even if i look back, i will never be the same person who once threaded in that past… if i meet a certain person in my past someday, i’ll surely be glad to see him, but he could never see the person who used to pour such great love, which he just wasted in vain…

i want to let go… i choose not to hold on anymore… i want to let go of heartaches… i want to let go of being the second best… i want to let go of useless struggles… i want to let go of negativism… i want to let go of insecurity… i want to let go coz i am praying for full happiness of others… and for myself too…

God sees and God knows… if i let go now, it’s because i know that He never wanted me to settle to be the second best… He has prepared the BEST for me… someone who could see forever with me… someone who sees me as God’s precious gift… someone who sees my heart and soul, and not just those visible to the eye…

i hold on to God’s promise.. He is always faithful… and He never fails…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 at 5:22 am and is filed under LIFE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.